"The city is a million miles away" -Mirah

I came to the resolution lately that this year is about miles. Distance. I've been running many, many miles. And, traveling many, many miles. I've been moving a lot, and soon will be making my big move to PA. More miles. More distance.
I think that this year was already pre-determined for me, I just haven't realized it until now. Previous years haven't felt this way. Who was it? God? Is there really a God? I don't like how many people say he/she works in mysterious ways. Or, he/she has their own way of doing things. I just think that your reactions, actions, and decisions actually determine how your life will be. At least, in my experiences, that seems to be the case. I don't pray. I've prayed before. I've studied the Tanakh. Everything. I think the best religion at this point in my life is believing in myself.
I have also been thinking lately that how absurd life can be. Just the time of events, the way my mind works, and how people are they way they are. I look back at the things I've gone through, and really think that somehow I was created so differently from others that sometimes I surprise myself. In the past, I've followed what was mainstream, but knew something wasn't right. Because, well, I'm not mainstream. I have always been different. I just don't think I knew how to express it without feeling hesitant.
I've missed my friends a lot. It's so odd. It's not like I would see them very often. I just miss the sociability and camaraderie. I'm hoping I'll be able to make a couple good friends in nursing school. That's all I ask!
The Israel Film Festival is in town. Babulya and I have seen three movies so far. And, they have all been really really good! We saw Seven Minutes in Heaven (about a girl's life after being on a bus that was bombed... with a twist), For My Father (about an Arab who comes Israel to get revenge, but in the meantime is treated with compassion by the Jews he meets), and Kirot (a Ukrainian woman that comes to work in Israel gets caught up with the wrong people). I just feel like these films are covering all the bases. Today we are seeing The Green Dumpsters and the Worst Company in the World (a documentary). And, then Jaffa on Thursday.
More to come soon.

Here we go!

I've officially completed my FAFSA and have filled out some of the necessary forms for financial aid through Villanova University. I'm finally at the point where I can really start applying for scholarships, too! I will be driving from Michigan to PA the end of March to find an apartment. It will be an interesting nine+ hour drive. After I've found my amazing wonderful perfect (keep dreaming... right?) apartment, I'm going to go visit my sister who only lives an hour and forty five minutes from my school (not considering traffic). So close, right?
I'm almost out of my funk of my weird feelings. Sometimes it creeps back up, but I'm fighting any wandering thoughts. I think being pulled out of your comfortable world into a totally new existence isn't easy to deal with in general. But, at the same time, I think that I really won't have time to be all boohoo once I move for nursing school because shit, that stuff is going to be demanding! I want to get all my feelings of sadness out and deal with what I can and just move on. Because, well, I am really excited to move. I want to meet interesting people and have a place to call my own.
My aunt and uncle from New York are in town. Last night they came over for tea, wine, and dessert. It was pleasant. Nothing too exciting has been going on here. It's been windy lately. I'm still working out a ton and am pleased with the results I have been seeing.
Ciao.

By the way- Happy Birthday Dedulya. I miss you every day. I won't be able to ever fill the void for Babulya, but I'm damn near close.

So many feelings.

These last few days have been filled with extraordinary emotions. Extraordinary in a very unusual way.
I have been having that jarring, stabbing, aching feeling of loneliness. My sleeping patterns have been bizarre: going to bed at 3:00am and sleeping until whenever because whatever. I have been thinking a lot, like every hour about moving and school. Everyone says that I'll be okay, that I should be excited, blah blah blah. I am so fucking nervous that I wake up at night feeling alone (even though my Babulya is in the other room) and start to get that image in my head of being in a very large, dark room, with no one in sight.
I specifically want to live alone because I know that even though I say I like having people around, I really don't like it when it comes to roommates that are random people. I know how neurotic I get when I am overwhelmed with school, so it is not worth the money a month to having the additional stress. Trust me, I can find SOMETHING that irritates me. It's not a good quality, haha. This doctor that I worked for in Okemos always said that when he was in medical school, one of the best decisions he made was living alone. That was my initial push that I really want that. I have never lived alone. I had my own room when my sister moved out, but then there are your parents that are your roommates. I had my own bathroom in a few apartments back at MSU, but then you share the kitchen and living room and then all those responsibilities involved with that. I just don't want to deal with it! There! Humph!
I think that having my family only a hour away, my boyfriend at that time always mine and near, and my friends always ready to hang out made me content.
I know I will make new friends. I am really excited and hopeful. I have a good friend Jon that already lives in Philly and is excited for my move so we can wine, dine, and so on. I'm just ANXIOUS. I don't know how to shake it off, and it's annoying.
Pfff. Sad post today, guys. On a good note, I'm going to look so in shape by the time I leave Florida it's going to be unreal. I don't have anything else to do! Florida is weird!!! I will be visiting some thrift stores these next few days. Oh, and I want to go to the flea market and check out some other malls.
A special shout out to Leontine and Maia for being so lovely. I love you.

Kind of back to reality, sort of, but not really. Maybe.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand she's back!
In Florida.
I have had quite a bit on my mind lately. Too much to handle. First, I am so jet lag from traveling and my allergies totally went insane that I am physically so exhausted that I can't actually feel tired. Not sure if that quite makes sense.
The rest of my trip was great. Rachel mentioned that she still liked me after our nine days together, so all is good in the world. ;) We were able to travel to Waikiki, Honolulu, Pearl Harbor, the north shore (a couple times!), hiked Diamond Head and also at the Hawaiian nature center. We also went whale watching, and went to the Polynesian Cultural Center all day for some Polynesian fun, luau, (got lei'd, finally) and much more. I drank from a pineapple. JEALOUS?
Moving on...
A few interesting things kept happening during our travels:
1) At the north shore we saw a jet ski rescue. We weren't sure if they were practicing because they all high-fived eachother after, but the guy they rescued looked like an ordinary man in about his 50's, balding, wearing average swim shorts.
2) At Diamond Head, a young guy ended up passing out on his way up, and we saw the emergency team air lift him. So, we pretty much came to the conclusion that Hawaii rocks at saving people.
3) There was this reaaaallllyyy obnoxious family that we kept seeing the first few days. The dad was really rude to the bus driver on one of our buses (where we first noticed the family) when the bus driver repeatedly told him that the front seats were for the elderly and disabled. Then, we also saw them at Diamond Head. And then, we saw them at the north shore. It was horrible. They were wearing stupid white sneakers and long white socks and dumb collared shirts that were obviously not fit for the 80 degree weather at the beach... so that was bizarre.
4) Weird people enjoyed talking to us. Rachel had mentioned that this would occur often when she was out and about, but with the two of us, it was like EVERYWHERE. This one guy even insisted that we were on another bus with him and were carrying a very large bag (not true). He was so excited about this that he decided to tap me on the shoulder and tell me how he remembers this occasion, that never really happened. Oh yes, one bus ride a lady was laughing hysterically and talking to herself. It was quite the eerie entertainment.
A few interesting things about Hawaii:
1) Spam. Everywhere. It's like their favorite thing. I don't care how expensive imports are, because SICK. They even have Spam sushi.
2) ABC stores. It's like everything you'd ever want and need from Hawaii. Sunscreen, food, towels, postcards, candy, Hawaiian shirts, etc. etc.
3) They love IHOP, McDonalds, Jack in the Box, KFC, and not actually having a dollar menu at any fast food joint or five dollar foot longs at Subway, because, well, someone has to pay for all the importing!
4) Cars. They love them. All kinds. It's like a melting pot of all the cars ever made. Once again, yay for imports!
5) You can take a plane to the other islands. I want to do that next time.
6) People actually wear Hawaiian shirts. Natives and tourists. It's the bus driver's uniform.

That's about all that I can think of at the moment. But in all honesty, Hawaii was wonderful. I am so thankful for having this opportunity to go. The scenery was breathtaking every day, and hard to get used to because it was so unique. You'd see flowers and palm trees, and then mountains and the ocean in the background. Unfortunately, the flights were brutal only because of my sensitive ears (thank the higher power for ear plugs), and for annoying people in general. I could never ever ever be a flight attendant!

Here is a link to my pictures: http://www5.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=993207026/a=2083123026_2083123026/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfish/
(Courtesy of Rachel and her sister Michelle. I didn't actually take them.)

On another topic...
To my fellow readers: Please, please send me any information you have on loans or scholarship opportunities. I am trying to get this shit taken care of as much as possible while I am doing nothing in Florida.
Also, my tummy has been a-hurtin a lot lately, and I've been a-craving some new eats, so I would love some food/cooking suggestions!

Lastly, I finished "The Wild Things" by Dave Eggars, based off of Maurice Sendak's "Where the Wild Things Are." And, on one of my plane rides, they happened to offer the recently released movie. I would say that the movie was pretty good, and made me appreciate the details in the book more. Now, I need to go back and read the illustrated version...

Little miss wahini in Hawaii

Aloha! I officially arrived to Hawaii two days ago. I am staying with Rachel and her sister Michelle in a little town called Aiea, the only city in U.S. without consonants, mind you. Rachel and I went to Waikiki yesterday and walked around the downtown area. Oh man, this place is gorgeous. I can honestly say that I am really impressed with the scenery, cleanliness, and friendliness of people.
Rachel says "Aloha!"
Today we went to the north shore. We stopped at Shark's cove, where there were huge waves. Then, we walked about a quarter of a mile to the next beach and it was A-FRIGGEN-MAZING. There were like maybe three other pairs of people, at the most. The waves were also so strong and intense. I played in the water for like a half hour and then the waves kicked my ass (Rachel was able to witness this) and I wiped out about three times. We also walked up shore a bit and saw a bunch of surfers, which was kewl, dude! Har har har!
Tomorrow we'll be going to Pearl Harbor, and then the Polynesian cultural center for tours, food, and a luau. The rest of the week we'll be climbing volcanoes, enjoying more beaches, watching wales, etc....
Mahalo for reading!

Smells amazing.

It's raining today. The mix of the smell of the ocean and the rain is wonderful. Everything (windows, the floors, etc) has that perspiration effect because of the warm temperature. And, the strong, quick raindrops make it difficult to know what is rain and what is transpiration.
I ran two miles today. Yay! While I was running I came to the conclusion that I am going to find a 5K to run in Florida! That will be my goal. I haven't ran one since last summer. Gotta get my self into it!

Updates on happenings!

I am currently typing this from my new computer! It's oh-so-fabulous. I am very happy. I am also very happy because... excuse me for bragging...but not really... I am booked for HAWAII! I will be going January 19-28. I am constantly told that the flight is very long, but I don't think I mind because I have tons of books I want to read and music I want to listen to. And, it will be interesting to see all the freaks (kidding! well, half kidding) in the Atlanta and Los Angeles airports.
My cousin Michelle was here for a few days. It was nice, we pretty much laid around, got pampered, went shopping, and ate good food. On the shitty side, the weather has been cold. This whole time. Well, actually it finally was in the high 70's today, but really windy.
I'm on to my next book, "The Wild Things" by Dave Eggers. It's alright so far. Not something I would usually pick, but I felt that I might as well try it. I'm also starting "Killing Yourself To Live" by Chuck Klosterman, who is also the author of "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs," which I have heard wasn't bad and I have yet to read one day.
My cousin Alex and his wife Ella are in town at the moment. They are staying at my aunt and uncle's condo. It's a bit of a walk to the beach from their condo... and the beach is kind of weird because it's really narrow. Our condo is actually on the beach, and it's more private and there's a lot of room. But regardless, it has been really nice hanging out with them. Hah, I almost wrote "gout." That would have been entertaining to read. They've been very interested in what's going on with me, and for the first time I feel really confident in my future endeavors. I mean, I'll be going to Villanova University for nursing school! That's pretty ASUM (awesome).
It's also been nice being with Babulya, my grandma. Last year, Michelle, Nikki, Amy, and myself got together and bought her a gym membership at the JCC. It was the best thing we could have done for her. It has made her stronger, more confident, and has boosted her energy and health. We workout together all the time at our gym at the condo, and cook healthy and tasty meals together. She is very receptive to fitness suggestions I give her, and I can tell she really enjoys exercising. At the same time, it can be difficult when we both are stubborn with the ways we like things done, organized, etc. Oh yeah, one last thing, I feel like I am in contact with my immediate family more than I ever have been! Phone calls like woah.
Laaaaastly... Mom and my aunt Laurachka are coming tomorrow. I can't wait to see my Mom. I've missed her a lot and I really want her to be able to relax. I'm not sure how much that is going to happen since they have to work this week (and I'll be out of town so I won't be able to be with her this week). The real exciting thing is that Mom will be staying an extra few days after I come back from Hawaii so we'll be able to enjoy each other's company. =) The last time we were able to spend time with each other was when we drove from Michigan to Florida to be here to get the condo set up and leave the car down here. It was so much fun. Man, I wouldn't mind going on a road trip with her again. She's like a driving machine, and I'm the dj.
Anyway, wish me a safe flight to Hawaii!!!