The Real Beginning

PHEW.
The countdown to nursing school has officially begun. Today I attended a welcome reception held by my nursing school to meet current students and incoming students that will be in my class. I haven't felt so excited and anxious in a while. These emotions are a little different then usual, though. I have been waiting for this moment for over four years. I met a really awesome girl, Mona, who will be attending the program with me through a nursing website a few months ago. I pretty much spent the day with her (drove her and her sister around to check out apartments, had lunch, chatted like us ladies do, etc.) and went to the reception together. It's nice to know someone else in the program, and from what I observed, everyone else seemed friendly and excited to meet one-another.
I'm heading to New York tomorrow to visit Amy, family, see a concert, and meet up with some friends. I want to just enjoy the city, have time to read, of course pamper my sister's every need while she is studying for finals, and do some good shopping. Turns out I still have some closet space, so I've gotta fill it with some good stuff! RIGHT?!
Back to school... I'm starting to try to get mentally prepared for the next 14 months to be a huge challenge and yet the biggest learning experience of my professional life. I'm more nervous about the workload then the intimidation of clinical or the material. I'm really organized and manage time well, but at this point I really don't know what to expect and how hard this program is going to hit me. However, the good thing is that I completely have freed myself from working and other obligations, so school will be my first and only priority these next 14 months.
I caved and bought a TV too. I will just pick up digital channels, but it will be nice to just shut out my brain whenever necessary. I can only sit in front of the computer and read so much. I would love to just lay and bed and enjoy a good movie after a huge test (and before I have to start studying for my next one).
I love my apartment. It's very cozy. The town is very "village" style, and I live in the heart of downtown Ardmore. It's pretty suburban out here, like exclusive. Philadelphia is pretty close, so I can get out there easily. It just depends on how much time I will actually have to "play." I have been checking out the thrift stores out here and so far have been finding some gems and am happy! I haven't even hit the Philadelphia thrift stores... or boutiques... maybe when I'm done with school and land a kick ass job for some hospital in Philly... a girl can dream, yeah????
Time to pack for tomorrow. I can't wait to see Amy again. It's like this rediscovered love because we were always seeing each other for a short period and then not for months at a time. Now it's like WHENEVER WE WANT. It's like we renewed our vows. Cuz we iz in luv.
Peace out bishez!

Success!

It has been a little while since I've posted here, mainly because I have been running around and taking care of all sorts of shiz for my big move.
I drove to PA with (my traveling buddy) Rachel and found my perfect apartment. Train right across the street, coffee shop a couple doors down, four miles away from school, etc. etc. I visited Villanova and the nursing school too! I'm moving THIS THURSDAY. I'm excited and nervous. I am really looking forward to living near Amy (two hours!) and discovering all sorts of restaurants, stores, cafes, etc. in my area.
I will post again once I am officially in PA and settled.
YAY!!!!

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Well, I've got a little less than two weeks left here in Florida. It's been an interesting few months here. I came with the intention that I am going to have a super relaxing and care-free stay here. I didn't really think that I would have a significantly different reaction physically and emotionally to my hiatus. I mean that it was very hard for the first month to just stop thinking about what I need to do. I wasn't used to not having a schedule, nor was I used to not have demands left and right. Finally, I mentally won this battle. I came here to just not do anything. I guess I felt that I was pressuring myself that I need to keep myself busy. And, that's where the physical comes in. My neck was hurting really bad the last couple months. Like, terrible. Stiffness, pain, little range of motion ability, etc. So, I got my massages from a lovely girl out here who actually lives in the building next to us, and I feel a million times better. I know for a fact that all my tension likes to hang out in my neck and upper back, so I've gotta get my massages and back cracks. It's a fact. And, I'm not going to hide it.
The other important physical change I needed to accomplish was getting into better shape. I told myself that these few months were for ME. And, I've been following through. I've toned up and I run 5K every day (on the treadmill because it's still too cold for my ears... boo), and finally signed up for the Ocean Drive 5K run (http://www.oceandriverun.com/2010/), on March 13. I'm excited! I just love the energy of races, and the feeling of completing the run.
I've made a new friend out here. Her name is Emiliya. She is from Russia, and moved to Florida to be with her boyfriend... and possibly future husband. It's a very unique situation. They've had a long distance relationship for a while and she decided to take the chance of starting a new life here. She is 29, and has been here for three months so far. She had a good job for a broker agency in Russia, and explained that before, her life was all work and the office. Now, she has the ability to have her life be her personal life, because she didn't really have one before. I can honestly say that I really enjoy her company. She is such a sweet and loving girl. She is very curious about my life, and about how Americans are. I try not to generalize, but at the same time, want to get her to love it here if she really ends up staying. The great thing about our relationship is that we get to practice speaking Russian and English. We mostly speak in Russian (which has been great for me because I really think it has improved), and I help her with irregular verbs, grammar, and have taught her many words that she hasn't learned quite yet. Practice makes perfect! Tonight we have another dinner date and then get to enjoy the midnight showing of Alice in Wonderland! I know she will be entertained by how people get dressed up for midnight showings.
Now, moving on to stuff for school... I received an email with a ton of information for my program. I have to get all sorts of background checks done, medical tests, etc. I also found out that my program has a laptop initiative program where they give each student their own laptop to use for school and then get to keep when they are done. It was a surprise- I think I'll give it to my Mom after school is done (not sure what the rules are, but I know that I'd rather use my Mac). I also have a list of contacts for apartments. I am excited and nervous. I am willing to be very flexible such as living farther from campus, not having a dishwasher or washer/dryer, etc. etc. because of my price range and decision that I want to live alone!!!!
So, we'll see how everything turns out.
Thanks for reading, pals.

"The city is a million miles away" -Mirah

I came to the resolution lately that this year is about miles. Distance. I've been running many, many miles. And, traveling many, many miles. I've been moving a lot, and soon will be making my big move to PA. More miles. More distance.
I think that this year was already pre-determined for me, I just haven't realized it until now. Previous years haven't felt this way. Who was it? God? Is there really a God? I don't like how many people say he/she works in mysterious ways. Or, he/she has their own way of doing things. I just think that your reactions, actions, and decisions actually determine how your life will be. At least, in my experiences, that seems to be the case. I don't pray. I've prayed before. I've studied the Tanakh. Everything. I think the best religion at this point in my life is believing in myself.
I have also been thinking lately that how absurd life can be. Just the time of events, the way my mind works, and how people are they way they are. I look back at the things I've gone through, and really think that somehow I was created so differently from others that sometimes I surprise myself. In the past, I've followed what was mainstream, but knew something wasn't right. Because, well, I'm not mainstream. I have always been different. I just don't think I knew how to express it without feeling hesitant.
I've missed my friends a lot. It's so odd. It's not like I would see them very often. I just miss the sociability and camaraderie. I'm hoping I'll be able to make a couple good friends in nursing school. That's all I ask!
The Israel Film Festival is in town. Babulya and I have seen three movies so far. And, they have all been really really good! We saw Seven Minutes in Heaven (about a girl's life after being on a bus that was bombed... with a twist), For My Father (about an Arab who comes Israel to get revenge, but in the meantime is treated with compassion by the Jews he meets), and Kirot (a Ukrainian woman that comes to work in Israel gets caught up with the wrong people). I just feel like these films are covering all the bases. Today we are seeing The Green Dumpsters and the Worst Company in the World (a documentary). And, then Jaffa on Thursday.
More to come soon.

Here we go!

I've officially completed my FAFSA and have filled out some of the necessary forms for financial aid through Villanova University. I'm finally at the point where I can really start applying for scholarships, too! I will be driving from Michigan to PA the end of March to find an apartment. It will be an interesting nine+ hour drive. After I've found my amazing wonderful perfect (keep dreaming... right?) apartment, I'm going to go visit my sister who only lives an hour and forty five minutes from my school (not considering traffic). So close, right?
I'm almost out of my funk of my weird feelings. Sometimes it creeps back up, but I'm fighting any wandering thoughts. I think being pulled out of your comfortable world into a totally new existence isn't easy to deal with in general. But, at the same time, I think that I really won't have time to be all boohoo once I move for nursing school because shit, that stuff is going to be demanding! I want to get all my feelings of sadness out and deal with what I can and just move on. Because, well, I am really excited to move. I want to meet interesting people and have a place to call my own.
My aunt and uncle from New York are in town. Last night they came over for tea, wine, and dessert. It was pleasant. Nothing too exciting has been going on here. It's been windy lately. I'm still working out a ton and am pleased with the results I have been seeing.
Ciao.

By the way- Happy Birthday Dedulya. I miss you every day. I won't be able to ever fill the void for Babulya, but I'm damn near close.

So many feelings.

These last few days have been filled with extraordinary emotions. Extraordinary in a very unusual way.
I have been having that jarring, stabbing, aching feeling of loneliness. My sleeping patterns have been bizarre: going to bed at 3:00am and sleeping until whenever because whatever. I have been thinking a lot, like every hour about moving and school. Everyone says that I'll be okay, that I should be excited, blah blah blah. I am so fucking nervous that I wake up at night feeling alone (even though my Babulya is in the other room) and start to get that image in my head of being in a very large, dark room, with no one in sight.
I specifically want to live alone because I know that even though I say I like having people around, I really don't like it when it comes to roommates that are random people. I know how neurotic I get when I am overwhelmed with school, so it is not worth the money a month to having the additional stress. Trust me, I can find SOMETHING that irritates me. It's not a good quality, haha. This doctor that I worked for in Okemos always said that when he was in medical school, one of the best decisions he made was living alone. That was my initial push that I really want that. I have never lived alone. I had my own room when my sister moved out, but then there are your parents that are your roommates. I had my own bathroom in a few apartments back at MSU, but then you share the kitchen and living room and then all those responsibilities involved with that. I just don't want to deal with it! There! Humph!
I think that having my family only a hour away, my boyfriend at that time always mine and near, and my friends always ready to hang out made me content.
I know I will make new friends. I am really excited and hopeful. I have a good friend Jon that already lives in Philly and is excited for my move so we can wine, dine, and so on. I'm just ANXIOUS. I don't know how to shake it off, and it's annoying.
Pfff. Sad post today, guys. On a good note, I'm going to look so in shape by the time I leave Florida it's going to be unreal. I don't have anything else to do! Florida is weird!!! I will be visiting some thrift stores these next few days. Oh, and I want to go to the flea market and check out some other malls.
A special shout out to Leontine and Maia for being so lovely. I love you.

Kind of back to reality, sort of, but not really. Maybe.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand she's back!
In Florida.
I have had quite a bit on my mind lately. Too much to handle. First, I am so jet lag from traveling and my allergies totally went insane that I am physically so exhausted that I can't actually feel tired. Not sure if that quite makes sense.
The rest of my trip was great. Rachel mentioned that she still liked me after our nine days together, so all is good in the world. ;) We were able to travel to Waikiki, Honolulu, Pearl Harbor, the north shore (a couple times!), hiked Diamond Head and also at the Hawaiian nature center. We also went whale watching, and went to the Polynesian Cultural Center all day for some Polynesian fun, luau, (got lei'd, finally) and much more. I drank from a pineapple. JEALOUS?
Moving on...
A few interesting things kept happening during our travels:
1) At the north shore we saw a jet ski rescue. We weren't sure if they were practicing because they all high-fived eachother after, but the guy they rescued looked like an ordinary man in about his 50's, balding, wearing average swim shorts.
2) At Diamond Head, a young guy ended up passing out on his way up, and we saw the emergency team air lift him. So, we pretty much came to the conclusion that Hawaii rocks at saving people.
3) There was this reaaaallllyyy obnoxious family that we kept seeing the first few days. The dad was really rude to the bus driver on one of our buses (where we first noticed the family) when the bus driver repeatedly told him that the front seats were for the elderly and disabled. Then, we also saw them at Diamond Head. And then, we saw them at the north shore. It was horrible. They were wearing stupid white sneakers and long white socks and dumb collared shirts that were obviously not fit for the 80 degree weather at the beach... so that was bizarre.
4) Weird people enjoyed talking to us. Rachel had mentioned that this would occur often when she was out and about, but with the two of us, it was like EVERYWHERE. This one guy even insisted that we were on another bus with him and were carrying a very large bag (not true). He was so excited about this that he decided to tap me on the shoulder and tell me how he remembers this occasion, that never really happened. Oh yes, one bus ride a lady was laughing hysterically and talking to herself. It was quite the eerie entertainment.
A few interesting things about Hawaii:
1) Spam. Everywhere. It's like their favorite thing. I don't care how expensive imports are, because SICK. They even have Spam sushi.
2) ABC stores. It's like everything you'd ever want and need from Hawaii. Sunscreen, food, towels, postcards, candy, Hawaiian shirts, etc. etc.
3) They love IHOP, McDonalds, Jack in the Box, KFC, and not actually having a dollar menu at any fast food joint or five dollar foot longs at Subway, because, well, someone has to pay for all the importing!
4) Cars. They love them. All kinds. It's like a melting pot of all the cars ever made. Once again, yay for imports!
5) You can take a plane to the other islands. I want to do that next time.
6) People actually wear Hawaiian shirts. Natives and tourists. It's the bus driver's uniform.

That's about all that I can think of at the moment. But in all honesty, Hawaii was wonderful. I am so thankful for having this opportunity to go. The scenery was breathtaking every day, and hard to get used to because it was so unique. You'd see flowers and palm trees, and then mountains and the ocean in the background. Unfortunately, the flights were brutal only because of my sensitive ears (thank the higher power for ear plugs), and for annoying people in general. I could never ever ever be a flight attendant!

Here is a link to my pictures: http://www5.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=993207026/a=2083123026_2083123026/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfish/
(Courtesy of Rachel and her sister Michelle. I didn't actually take them.)

On another topic...
To my fellow readers: Please, please send me any information you have on loans or scholarship opportunities. I am trying to get this shit taken care of as much as possible while I am doing nothing in Florida.
Also, my tummy has been a-hurtin a lot lately, and I've been a-craving some new eats, so I would love some food/cooking suggestions!

Lastly, I finished "The Wild Things" by Dave Eggars, based off of Maurice Sendak's "Where the Wild Things Are." And, on one of my plane rides, they happened to offer the recently released movie. I would say that the movie was pretty good, and made me appreciate the details in the book more. Now, I need to go back and read the illustrated version...