So many feelings.

These last few days have been filled with extraordinary emotions. Extraordinary in a very unusual way.
I have been having that jarring, stabbing, aching feeling of loneliness. My sleeping patterns have been bizarre: going to bed at 3:00am and sleeping until whenever because whatever. I have been thinking a lot, like every hour about moving and school. Everyone says that I'll be okay, that I should be excited, blah blah blah. I am so fucking nervous that I wake up at night feeling alone (even though my Babulya is in the other room) and start to get that image in my head of being in a very large, dark room, with no one in sight.
I specifically want to live alone because I know that even though I say I like having people around, I really don't like it when it comes to roommates that are random people. I know how neurotic I get when I am overwhelmed with school, so it is not worth the money a month to having the additional stress. Trust me, I can find SOMETHING that irritates me. It's not a good quality, haha. This doctor that I worked for in Okemos always said that when he was in medical school, one of the best decisions he made was living alone. That was my initial push that I really want that. I have never lived alone. I had my own room when my sister moved out, but then there are your parents that are your roommates. I had my own bathroom in a few apartments back at MSU, but then you share the kitchen and living room and then all those responsibilities involved with that. I just don't want to deal with it! There! Humph!
I think that having my family only a hour away, my boyfriend at that time always mine and near, and my friends always ready to hang out made me content.
I know I will make new friends. I am really excited and hopeful. I have a good friend Jon that already lives in Philly and is excited for my move so we can wine, dine, and so on. I'm just ANXIOUS. I don't know how to shake it off, and it's annoying.
Pfff. Sad post today, guys. On a good note, I'm going to look so in shape by the time I leave Florida it's going to be unreal. I don't have anything else to do! Florida is weird!!! I will be visiting some thrift stores these next few days. Oh, and I want to go to the flea market and check out some other malls.
A special shout out to Leontine and Maia for being so lovely. I love you.

Moving outta here!

Today is Monday, December 21. I am about 1/4 of the way done with packing. I've lived in East Lansing/Okemos/Lansing (let's just say Ingham county) for about 4.5 years, have moved three times in the last year, and on Wednesday, will officially leave this place.

Things I will miss:
1) My favorite restaurants/cafes/bars (Mumbai, Sawyer's, Gone Wired Cafe, Grand River Coffee, Beggars Banquet, El Azteco, etc.).
2) Nathan, Monty (the Chihuahua), the friends I've made through school and work. =(
3) Convenience of knowing this place like the back of my hand.
4) My awesome jobs $$$$$$$$$ (hundred dolla bills ya'aaall)
5) Thrift stores that haven't been picked over AT ALL.

Things I won't miss:
1) Ghetto apartment/thin walls/no insulation. DTN management in general.
2) Crazy freaks around town... really... I'm sick of seeing that guy playing guitar on the corner of Mt. Hope and Cedar... no one can hear you buddy, we are all driving in our cars... and it's cold outside... or the dudes waving the signs to sell my gold for cash! Or better yet, the crazy guy that tells me his life story about claiming to be from LA, and that he is looking for the local gay bar, but isn't looking for sex, but is interested if someone else is... Oh yes! Really fat ladies on their mobilized scooters riding through the snow filled sidewalks. The list goes on. The CATA bus stop in Lansing gives me the willies!
3) MSU or LCC (being a student at MSU consists of classes of 500+ people, or a student at LCC consists of well, it's an urban campus, so think about it. I will just remember the smell of Taco Bell and cigarettes.).
4) The millions and millions of Asian students driving dangerously in their Mercedes, or Porsche, or BMW, or whatever. Ridiculous.
5) The smell of everyone's shit when I drive on 496W (from the waste water treatment plant).

This is pretty much what I can come up with at this point. I've gotta get back to packing, which has been a lot of throwing clothes away, watching TV, and hanging out with friends.
-Jackie